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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Biology Question

Hits: 4185

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?

Your last blow job.

A Question For Dad

Hits: 3632

A son asks his father: "What's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'."

His father thinks for a moment then says: "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with George Clooney for a million bucks."

So he does and mom says: "You bet I would!" The boy reports back to his father but still doesn't understand.

So the father says: "Now, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks."

Off he goes to ask his sister and her reply is: "Absolutely!"

Finally the boy goes back to his dad and says: "I think I get it pop. 'Potentially' we are sitting on two million dollars here... but in 'reality' we're living with a couple of whores."

Back To Her Place

Hits: 4160

A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.

After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"

She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."

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The Spoils Of War

An elderly Italian man went to his parish priest to make confession. He told the priest, "Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess." said the priest.

"It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with sex" continued the old man. The priest thought for a moment then told him, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you both would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found you were hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the bad, and judge you kindly."

"Thanks, Father." said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Say, can I ask one more question?" "Certainly, my son." said the priest. The old man asked him, "Do I need to tell her the war's over?"

Trust

What's the definition of trust?

Two gay cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

It's How They're Packed

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.