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This One's About Tools

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What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

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She Doesn't Give A F*ck!

What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?

A lawyer who won't fuck you.

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

A Real Knock Out

What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?

They both go down for the count!