This One's About Tools

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.

What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being a retard.

I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.