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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Can We Get A Dog?

Created: 22 October 2015
Hits: 3851

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck on his dick!

A Good Choir Boy

Created: 21 October 2015
Hits: 3600

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

The Similarities are Striking

Created: 18 October 2015
Hits: 3093

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

He Oughta Be Hit With That Ruler

My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"

I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"

And that's when the fight started...

One Night Stand

A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, arrive at a hotel at the same time. The clerk tells them there is only one room left... And after an awkward moment they both agree to share it. Although they feel weird at first, they both manage to fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"

The man replies, "That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"

You've Heard It Before

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and goes to look for help. Soon he comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.

"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."

"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."

"Oh, crap," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong fucking joke."

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