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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Can We Get A Dog?

Hits: 3788

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck on his dick!

A Good Choir Boy

Hits: 3514

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

The Similarities are Striking

Hits: 2984

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.

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Not Like She Used To Be

A wife arrived home after a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a cute little hottie.

Just as she was about to storm out of the house in anger, her husband stopped her and begged to explain: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl. She was looking poor and tired, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were worn out, so I offered her the pair you didn’t wear because you thought they went out of style. She was cold so I gave her that birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours, the ones you said didn’t fit anymore. Then as this poor young lady was about to leave, she paused at the door and asked me, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?'"

"And so, here we are!"

The Smelliest Common Denominator

What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

Pirate Walks Into A Bar

Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?

Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.