Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck on his dick!

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.

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A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.

The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."

"So did I..."

A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.

He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.

But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.

In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."

"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"

"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Can We Get A Dog?