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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Hits: 3262

What do you do in case of fallout?

Put it back in and take shorter strokes.

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What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

What... you didn't see that coming?

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Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

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In This Corner

What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?

A Willie Nelson.

Be Nice Or You Won't Get Any

Little Johnny's walking along with his father when he sees a butterfly. He grabs it, throws it on the ground,and stomps on it. His father says, "Son, that was unnecessary violence. You may not have any butter for a month."

They walk a little further and Little Johnny sees a honey bee. He grabs it, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. His father says, "Once again, son, unnecessary violence. You may not have any honey for a month."

That night, Little Johnny's having dinner with his mom and dad when a cockroach goes running across the table. His mother knocks it off the table and stomps on it. Little Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Well, Pop, are you gonna tell her, or should I?"

You Do The Math

A 54 year old accountant decides to leave his wife, and to rub it in at the same time. So he writes her a letter that reads: Dear Wife, I am 54, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrives at the hotel the front desk clerk hands him a letter that was waiting for him. It read: Dear Husband, I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Surfside Motel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy.You being an accountant can certainly appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18