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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Hits: 4159

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Not Necessarily From The Bronx

Hits: 2678

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

Hits: 3321

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Dig Deep In The Memory Banks

A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."

Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

STDs Can Be Pretty Rough

What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?

"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"