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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Hits: 4188

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Not Necessarily From The Bronx

Hits: 2705

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

Hits: 3354

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Old Guy Visits the Doctor

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

100% Guaranteed!

Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.