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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Hits: 4179

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Not Necessarily From The Bronx

Hits: 2694

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

Hits: 3345

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

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Who's Your Daddy?

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."

Over My Dead Body

What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

Soon Enough Young Man

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."