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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Hits: 4150

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Not Necessarily From The Bronx

Hits: 2671

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

Hits: 3316

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

In A Doctor's Waiting Room

Two guys are in a doctor's waiting room. The first guy asks, "Why're you here?" The second guy says, "Endoscopy. He's going down my throat with a camera. Why're you here?"

The first guy replies, "Camera up the ass." The second guy remarks, "Oh, a colonoscopy?"

The first guy tells him, "Nah. My old lady caught me taking pictures of the neighbor's wife sunbathing naked."

Don't Forget To Flush!

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.

Just Plain Stupid

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."

The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"

She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."