A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."
The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"
She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."
A businessman returns from Bangkok. After a few days he notices strange growth on his dick. He sees several doctors and they all tell him: “You've been screwing around over in Thailand. This is very common over there, but there is really no cure. We'll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in Thailand they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Bangkok.
The Thai doctor examines him and says, "Looks like you've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”
The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles and nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
