Why do women wear black underwear?
They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"The guy says, "Yes, I have."The cop says, "Please step out of the car."The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
