How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his dick!
Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?
Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
