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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Biology or Cooking Class

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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

Change is Necessary

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How many Freudian psychaitrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder! I meant ladder.

Hold On There

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What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

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Do What The Doctor Tells You

A woman who was beaten black and blue, goes to the doctor. The doc asks: "What happened?" She tells him: "I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."

The doctor says: "I have the perfect solution for you. Whenever your husband comes home in that state, just grab a glass of iced tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle."

Two weeks later she returns and looks reborn and fresh again. "Doc," she says, "That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with the tea. I gargled and gargled and nothing happened."

The doctor smiled knowingly. "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"

Bulaaaah!

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

Is There An App For That?

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"

Then I unplugged his life support.