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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Biology or Cooking Class

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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

Change is Necessary

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How many Freudian psychaitrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder! I meant ladder.

Hold On There

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What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

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Thanksgiving Has A Whole New Meaning

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

No Tricks Here

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

Let There Be Light

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.