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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Biology or Cooking Class

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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

Change is Necessary

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How many Freudian psychaitrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder! I meant ladder.

Hold On There

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What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

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Now That's Cheap

What is the cheapest meat?

Deer balls, they're under a buck.

Pirate Walks Into A Bar

Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?

Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.

Might As Well Take In A Round

We were at the couples pregnancy preparation class. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe & was telling the men how to give the necessary support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

Then she turned to the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."  The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Wanting to get into the swing of things I quickly raised my hand and asked the instructor, "Would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"

And that's when the fight started...