Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #1124

Anniversary Hint

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 16 October 2014; Hits: 3222

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Walk Down The Aisle

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 October 2014; Hits: 3513

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

A Musician

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 October 2014; Hits: 3792

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

Out To Lunch

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 13 October 2014; Hits: 2893

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

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You Can't Unread This One

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...

Going Around Town

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

He Knows The Score

A wife went on a retreat for work. When she returned home, she found a pair of panties in her dresser that did not belong to her. Furious, she questioned her husband. The husband said, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife went to the maid and questioned her.

Indignant, the maid replied, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties... just ask your husband!"