Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.
My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.
I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.
Why do blondes like to drive cars with a sunroof?
More leg room.