Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
And that's when the fight started...
What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
My dick is so big, it graduated High School a year ahead of me.
