Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "Everybody."
Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"
"Not yet, sweetie."
Nacho comes before a judge. The judge asks: "Why're you here?" Nacho tells him: "I'm accused of starting my Xmas shopping early."
The judge says, "That's not a crime. How early did you start?"
Nacho says, "Before the store opened."
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
And that's when the fight started...