No, Not That!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"

She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."

And that's when the fight started...

How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

I said: "Yeah, but I do."

And that's when the fight started...