What Are Fences For?

My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."

"Why such a big hole?" she asked.

"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.