How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.
His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"
And that's when the fight started...
It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
