How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?
Who cares?
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
