What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste. Ewww...
If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?
The swallow.
My wife called me on Valentines Day and said, "Three of the girls here in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine's Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they received flowers."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.
I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."
