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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

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Guy's making out with his girlfriend. Things start to get hot and heavy so he puts his hand under her skirt.

His girlfriend tells him: "You can't do that. My mother made me promise never to let a man put his hand under my skirt. But if you put your hand down my back, it'll be the second hole you come to."

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The local pharmacy was robbed of 100 bottles of Viagra. Clearly the work of a hardened criminal.

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For Biology or Sex Ed?

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis.

Her mom said: "You should have asked me last night... it was on the tip of my tongue."

I Always Wonder Why

It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.

I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."

And that's when the fight started.

Professional Opinion

Guy visits the doctor and tells him, "Doc, I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." The doctor tells him, "Bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day, the guy comes back with his wife. The doctor tells her, "Please take off all of your clothes and lie down on the table." After she's lying there naked, the doctor walks around the table a few times, looking her up and down and all around.

Finally he pulls the guy aside and assures him, "You're fine. She don't give me a hard-on, either."