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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Better Than Nothing

Hits: 3217

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

A Dead Man!

Hits: 3998

After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.

If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.

Doggie Style

Hits: 2812

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Old Guy Visits the Doctor

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

One Or The Other For Sure

If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.