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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Better Than Nothing

Created: 07 July 2015
Hits: 3277

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

A Dead Man!

Created: 06 July 2015
Hits: 4040

After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.

If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.

Doggie Style

Created: 05 July 2015
Hits: 2854

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Driver's Ed

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

You Go First

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife finally had enough. She figured she would break him of that crazy habit. So one night, while they were right in the middle of a romantic session, she flipped on the lights.

To her shock she looked down and saw her husband was holding a giant dildo. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you lie to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly, "I'll explain the rubber dick if you explain the kids."

Depends on Your Persepctive

My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.

I thought she was just shallow.

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