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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Better Than Nothing

Hits: 3296

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

A Dead Man!

Hits: 4052

After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.

If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.

Doggie Style

Hits: 2863

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Budget Has Not Been Met

Little Johnny asked his dad: "How much does it cost to get married?

His father replied: "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it!"

Cure For Constipation

A nun walks into a liquor store and says, "Give me a pint of brandy." The guy says, "Sister, I've never sold alcohol to a nun." She says, "It's for the Mother Superior, she's constipated."

So he sells it to her. Later that night, he walks out, and there's the nun on the stoop, with the empty bottle, drunk as a skunk, singing and laughing. He says, "Sister, for shame. You told me the bottle was for the Mother Superior's constipation."

The nun says, "It is. She's constipated, and when she sees me, she's gonna shit."

Front Or Back, Your Choice

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!