After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.
If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."
He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"
Sex is like a bank account.
First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.
