My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"
I said, "It does now."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
