Johnson is standing on the train platform when the guy next to him waves and yells" "Goodbye! Your wife's a great fuck!"
Johnson is shocked and asks the guy: "Who were you yelling to?" The guy tells Johsnon: "That's my brother." "Wow" Johnson tells him, "That's incedibly insensitive!"
The guy says: "Actually I'm very sensitive. My brother's wife is a lousy fuck. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."
The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."
Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."
Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."
She calls on Little Johnny in the back. "John?"
Little Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."
I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.
She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."
