What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
He couldn't see shit.
