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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bring Out The Tape Measure

Hits: 2990

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Let Me Introduce You To

Hits: 2872

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Not The Best Choice

Hits: 2718

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

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Deductive Reasoning

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."

Not My Type Of Girl

What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?

About 65 pounds.

Two Blondes Checking The Tracks

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said: "These look like deer tracks." The other one said: "No they look like moose tracks."

They argued and argued for a while. They were still arguing when the train hit them.