Why'd the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"
A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"
