Is Delivery Included?

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)

The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"

I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."

And that's when the fight started...

A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.

He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."

The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.