What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.The old gal asks: "What's up?"He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."She says: "How often do I have to do that?"
What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!
A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."