What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.
Hope she finds someone nice.
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.