What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head.
I saw my wife bought one of those new Wonder Bras.
Goofing around I told her: "You know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off you wonder where your tits went."
And that's when the fight started...
Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?
She just couldn’t take it any longer.
