Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.
Keeps them from rolling out of bed.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"
She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."
And that's when the fight started...