A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

The Down Under

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How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

Needs More Duct Tape

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What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Pizza Has Arrived, Finally

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What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Better Than A Gold Watch

It was the local mailman's last day on the job after 35 years delivering mail in the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the entire household who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift envelope full of cash. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a collection of the best fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in skimpy lingerie. She took him by the hand, led him upstairs to the bedroom and proceeded to fuck his brains out. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a gigantic breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him one last cup of coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words" he said. "But what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

Advice From Dick

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Brand New Dishwasher

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.