A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

The Down Under

Hits: 3306

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

Needs More Duct Tape

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What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Pizza Has Arrived, Finally

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What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Street Accounting

Little Johnny is always being teased by the neighborhood toughs for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel, causing no amount of snickering and glee among the bullies.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, nice Mr. Johnson pulls him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?"

Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd probably stop. Right now I'm up more than twenty bucks on those mooks!"

Just A Little Peak

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson are at the bank when an armed robber bursts in. Realizing he forgot his mask, the robber makes everyone lie face down and warns them not to look at him or he'll shoot.

Sure enough one stupid customer sneaks a look, and BAM! the robber shoots him on the spot. The robber then asks if anyone else had seen his face.

Johnson, continuing to gaze intently at the floor, shouts out "I think my wife got a glimpse."

And that's when the fight started...

Keep it Safe

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.