Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.
As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
He couldn't see shit.
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."