What do cheerleaders say after sex?
"Thanks, guys!".
I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
