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Can You Give A Date To This?

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How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

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Dog Lifestyle

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.

Can't Try It On First

A guy goes into a drug store to buy some condoms. The girl behind the counter asks, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up one finger and asks, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and asks, “That big?” He says, “Smaller.” She holds up two fingers and he says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

She sticks the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”

One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.