What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!
My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"
I told her: "When they get divorced."
And that's when the fight started...
