What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
What do you have with two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
What'd the blonde say when she saw a guy walking two dogs?
"He must be really blind."
