Wardrobe Selection

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.