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I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.