A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1735

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1931

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2272

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1912

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
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and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Real Romantic

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...

I Like Dad's Explanation Better

A kid comes home from school and tells his mom, "I've got a problem.at school. Little Johnny keeps using two words I don't understand - pussy and bitch".

Mom says "Oh, that's no big deal.  Pussy is a little cat like our Fluffy, and bitch is a female dog, like our Queenie."

He says thanks, but decides he better check with his dad. He heads to the workshop in the basement where he tells his dad, "Little Johnny at school is using words I don't know. I asked mom but I don't think she told me the real meaning."

Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to your mom with stuff like that. She just doesn't get it. What are the words?" The boy tells him. "Pussy and bitch."

Dad thinks for a minute and says "OK" let me show you. He pulls out an old Playboy magazine from the bottom drawer, grabs a marking pen and opens to the centerfold. Then he circles the pubic area, points and says, "Son, everything inside that circle is pussy."

"OK dad, so then what's a bitch?"

"That's everything outside the circle."

Ring the Buzzer

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head nurse.