A Military Question

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"

I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"

And that;s when the fight started...

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.