Depends On Where You Are

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?

Put up a "Bingo" sign.

I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.

Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"

Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...