A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3158

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck on his dick!

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2830

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2147

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2234

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

This Is Why Hockey Players Wear Them

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

He heads over to the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

(Ah please... just google it!)

You Have Mine And I Have Yours

A woman is at home when she hears a knock at the front door. When she opens it there's a man standing there who shouts at her: "Hey lady, do you have a vagina?" Scared, she slams the door shut hoping he'll go away.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door again. It's the same guy and he asks the same question. "Do you have a vagina?" And again she slams the door only this time she calls her husband. The husband tells her he'll take off from work the next day and find out exactly what this guy is up to.

So the next morning, with the husband hiding behind the door, here comes that knock again. The husband signals to his wife she should answer yes this time. When she opens the door and the guy asks, "Do you have a vagina?" the wife says, "Yes I do."

"Perfect" the man replies, "Tell your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"

I thought girls never fart, or poop!

My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"

She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."

And that's when the fight started...