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It Takes Two

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 21 February 2017
Hits: 2383

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

Learn To Drive

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 February 2017
Hits: 3047

Why are men like cars?

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.

Look It Up

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 19 February 2017
Hits: 2639

A koala bear walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender points to a cute little trick at the end of the bar. So the koala bear walks up to her and in a few minutes they're heading to her place. When they get they're the koala bear immediately goes down on her. After a few minutes he jumps up and splits.

The next night, the woman spots the koala bear at the bar again and confronts him saying: "You owe me money!" "For what?" the koala asks. The woman rolls her eyes and tells him, "I'm a prostitute." The koala bear pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The koala says, "I don't owe you a thing. I'm a koala bear. Look it up." Before she can protest the koala hands her the dictionary.

The woman looks up "koala bear" and reads, "Koala bear: Eats bush and leaves.”

You Make The Call

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 18 February 2017
Hits: 2730

Man talks dirty to a woman? That's sexual harassment.

Woman talks dirty to a man? That's $1.99 a minute.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Financial Discussion

I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.

She asked why not?

"Cause the thief spends less than you do."

And that's when the fight started...

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Back And Forth Exchange

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...

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