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It Takes Two

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 21 February 2017
Hits: 2403

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

Learn To Drive

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 February 2017
Hits: 3062

Why are men like cars?

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.

Look It Up

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 19 February 2017
Hits: 2659

A koala bear walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender points to a cute little trick at the end of the bar. So the koala bear walks up to her and in a few minutes they're heading to her place. When they get they're the koala bear immediately goes down on her. After a few minutes he jumps up and splits.

The next night, the woman spots the koala bear at the bar again and confronts him saying: "You owe me money!" "For what?" the koala asks. The woman rolls her eyes and tells him, "I'm a prostitute." The koala bear pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The koala says, "I don't owe you a thing. I'm a koala bear. Look it up." Before she can protest the koala hands her the dictionary.

The woman looks up "koala bear" and reads, "Koala bear: Eats bush and leaves.”

You Make The Call

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 18 February 2017
Hits: 2752

Man talks dirty to a woman? That's sexual harassment.

Woman talks dirty to a man? That's $1.99 a minute.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

Password Must Be At Least 8 Characters Long

A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.

His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"

And that's when the fight started...

Safety in the Kitchen

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The fireman giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and he said: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

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