Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"

I told her: "My dick."

And that's when the fight started...

Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."

Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"