Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."
Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.
Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."
Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
