Smells Like A Good Time

What's the difference between pussy & pot?

If you can smell pot from across the room it's the good stuff.

Last Christmas grandpa surprised eveyone and made snow angels.

He skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.

Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."