What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.
Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"
The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."
I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.
Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"
Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
