I'd Love To But...

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "

And that's when the fight started...

What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Three blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would've seen it...

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...