Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

: Created: 30 May 2017; Hits: 1847

Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."

: Created: 29 May 2017; Hits: 1962

Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.

It was grandpa.

: Created: 28 May 2017; Hits: 1798

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"

Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Lesson Soon Learned

Cop pulls a guy over at 3am: "Where you going at this hour?"

Guy says: "To a lecture on alcohol abuse, its effect on the human body. And the dangers of smoking & staying out late."

"Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

"My wife."

Anyone Like Parsley? Uhhh, Anyone?

How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.

Old School Feminism

My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.

I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."

And that's when the fight started...