What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?
A smartass!
You should never make jokes about vaginas...
Period.
Dear Santa,
I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...
Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!
- Billy
A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.
He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.
But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
