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Liberals vs. Conservatives

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What's the difference between a conservative and a liberal?

A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

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Doesn't Always Take Two

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

What's A Mother To Do

One day Little Johnny's mother was cleaning his room when she found a Bondage and S&M magazine under his bed. This was very upsetting to her. So she waited until Little Johnny's dad came home, handed him the magazine and told him: "Look what I found under Johnny's bed. What do you think we should do about it?"

Dad looked took the magazine, thumbed through a few pages, then handed it back to her saying: "Well... I don't think we should spank him."

Question For Bird Watchers

Why are crows so damn noisy when they fuck?

Caws!