I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!
My wife called me on Valentines Day and said, "Three of the girls here in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine's Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they received flowers."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?
Kill your cat.
