What do you call a man who lost all his intelligence?
A widower.
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
So he shouts back: "Tits"
