What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar.
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean.
A good start.
A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.
The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "
"Getting my date drunk."
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!